Confucius in 30 Pages
Tell Me Your Wishes
If someone asked what you most want your life to do, what would you say?
Original
顏淵、季路侍。子曰：「盍各言爾志？」子路曰：「願車馬衣輕裘，與朋友共，敝之而無憾。」顏淵曰：「願無伐善，無施勞。」子路曰：「願聞子之志。」子曰：「老者安之，朋友信之，少者懷之。」In plain words
Yan Yuan and Zilu were attending Confucius. He said: “Why don't you each tell me what you wish for?” Zilu said: “I'd like to share my carriage, horses, clothes and fur coat with my friends, and not mind if they wear them out.” Yan Yuan said: “I'd like never to boast of my good points, and never to push hard work onto others.” Zilu said: “May we hear your wish, Master?” Confucius said: “That the old may be at peace, friends may trust one another, and the young may be cared for.”
Key words
- 盍héWhy not…?
- 伐善fá shànBoasting of one's own good points.
- 施勞shī láoPushing hard work onto others; the same 施 as “do not do to others.”
Reading it step by step
What kind of person do you actually want to be? One day, with only two students beside him, Confucius asked: why don't you each tell me what you wish for?
First: Zilu puts friends before things. Zilu, the elder, speaks first. Carriage, horses, clothes, fur coat: he'd share them all with his friends and not mind if they came back worn out. It is generous, completely sincere, and rare. Most of us, if a friend broke the laptop we lent them, would want it repaired before it came back: half a Zilu at best. But notice: he lends to his friends. If you don't know Zilu, you don't get the carriage.
Second: Yan Yuan lets go of himself. “I'd like never to boast of my good points, and never to push hard work onto others.” Some read the second half as “never to advertise my achievements.” But Yan Yuan never held office and never had money; what achievements were there to advertise? The verb is the same 施 as in “do not do to others what you would not want.” Seven plain characters, and they quietly dissolve the grip of the self. Zilu cares for his friends; Yan Yuan treats everyone the same.
Third: Confucius wants everyone settled. The conversation could have ended there, but Zilu asked: “May we hear yours, Master?” Give Zilu a round of applause. Without his question, no one would ever have known Confucius' own aim. Plenty of teachers would say, “Good question, let's come back to it next week.” Confucius answered on the spot: “That the old may be at peace, friends may trust one another, and the young may be cared for.” These twelve characters have never been fully realised, then or now.
Why set a goal that can't be reached? Because for Confucius, goodness is a fitting relationship between me and someone else, made real. Devotion is toward parents, brotherliness toward siblings, trust toward friends: there is no exception. Human nature tends toward the good. Be sincere, and a strength rises from within, asking you to do right by every “other” around you. That road never ends. So this is not a fantasy. It is a direction.
Like ripples, widening ring by ring
The three wishes spread like ripples: my friends, everyone in front of me, the whole world. You don't have to leap to Confucius. Start with Zilu: be wholehearted with one friend. Then learn from Yan Yuan: today, don't praise yourself once, and don't hand one miserable task to a colleague. Then look up at the wider circle.
A wish like this isn't for arriving. It is for not getting lost.
A true aim isn't for arriving. It's for not getting lost.
Today's question
Write your aim in one sentence. Who does it look after: you, your friends, or more people than that?
Quick check
What does Yan Yuan's “no 施劳” most plausibly mean?
Yan Yuan had no office or wealth to boast of; 施 is the 施 of “do not do to others.”
II · Family, Friends and Society — Family, friendship and our part in the world
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