Should I Act at Once?

Why does the same advice help one person and not another?

Original

子路問：「聞斯行諸？」子曰：「有父兄在，如之何其聞斯行之？」冉有問：「聞斯行諸？」子曰：「聞斯行之。」公西華曰：「由也問聞斯行諸，子曰『有父兄在』；求也問聞斯行諸，子曰『聞斯行之』。赤也惑，敢問。」子曰：「求也退，故進之；由也兼人，故退之。」

In plain words

Zilu asked, “Should I act on what I hear at once?” Confucius said, “Your father and elder brothers are alive. How could you act on it at once?” Ranyou asked, “Should I act on what I hear at once?” Confucius said, “Act on it at once.” Gongxi Hua said, “When Zilu asked, you said his father and brothers were alive. When Ranyou asked, you told him to act at once. I am confused. May I ask why?” Confucius said, “Ranyou holds back, so I urged him on. Zilu has the drive of two men, so I held him back.”

Key words

聞斯行諸wén sī xíng zhū“Hear it, then do it?” (诸 contracts 之乎, “it?”)
兼人jiān rénDoing the work of two: Zilu's boldness and drive.
因材施教yīn cái shī jiàoTeaching each person as they are (a later summary of Confucius' method).

Reading it step by step

For several pages we have watched how Confucius learned. Today we see how he taught. Two students ask the same question, one after the other, and Confucius gives them opposite answers. Gongxi Hua, standing by, is baffled and works up the courage to ask why.

First: opposite answers are not a contradiction. “Should I act on what I hear at once?” has no single right answer. One person needs the accelerator; another needs the brake. Confucius was answering not just the question but the person asking it. He did the same with Zeng Shen, an earnest student who never ran when his father beat him and thought that was filial piety. Confucius told him: take a light switch, but run from a heavy club. If your father maims or kills you, people will blame him, and that is the unfilial thing. Even in filial piety, whether to run depends on the size of the stick.

Second: the teacher saw the student first. Zilu was only nine years younger than Confucius, bold, brave and competitive. The story goes that as a young man he swaggered about with a rooster feather in his cap, a boar hide on his back and a sword at his hip, and never turned down a duel. When Confucius invited him to study, Zilu scoffed: why learn? Bamboo from South Mountain, cut and shot just as it is, will pierce rhinoceros hide.

Confucius took up his image: and if you sharpen it, fit an arrowhead and feathers, won't it go deeper? Zilu became his student on the spot, and after that, it is said, nobody dared criticise Confucius to his face. Someone like that most needs to hear: wait, ask your father and brothers first. Ranyou was the opposite, hesitant and quick to retreat, so Confucius pushed him: act on it now! One pulled back, one pushed forward, both toward the same place: the balanced middle way.

Ranyou holds back → push: “Act on it now!”

the middle wayone road, neither rash nor timid

Zilu rushes ahead → pull back: “Ask your father first.”

Third: there is one Way, but each person walks it differently. Confucians speak of dao and ren. The dao is the right road every human being should travel; ren is how I, this particular person, starting from where I stand, actually get onto it. That is why, whenever a student asked about ren, Confucius answered differently. The road is shared; the steps are your own.

One more detail: Gongxi Hua says, “I am confused. May I ask?” He doesn't understand, so he speaks up. That, too, takes courage, and it is part of learning.

The internet is full of advice that claims to fit everyone: get up early, be disciplined, quit boldly, slow down. Before you follow any of it, ask yourself: am I a Zilu or a Ranyou? Right now, do I need the accelerator or the brake? The same “hang in there” can crush someone close to burnout and be exactly the lift someone else needs.

One line to carry

First know whether you need the accelerator or the brake.

Today's question

In a decision you're weighing now, are you more Zilu or Ranyou? Which of the two answers do you need to hear?

Quick check

Why did Confucius give Zilu and Ranyou opposite answers?

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