What Cannot Be Helped

Reading it step by step

Confucius is speaking again. This time the listener is Zigao, Duke of She, a minister of Chu who has been sent as an envoy to Qi. He's a wreck. Qi treats envoys politely and then drags its feet. “I received my orders in the morning,” he says, “and by evening I was drinking ice water. I must be burning up inside!” The job hasn't started, and his body is already giving way.

Confucius's advice is today's few lines. Let's take them in three steps.

First: ride along with things and let the mind roam. “Things” are the circumstances you didn't choose: who your boss is, which country, which era. To ride them is neither to fight them nor to be dragged along. It's like sitting in a boat. The boat goes where the water flows, but you, sitting in it, can watch the scenery and stay calm. Circumstances are the vehicle; your mind is the passenger.

Second: entrust yourself to what cannot be helped, and nourish your centre. “What cannot be helped” doesn't mean “whatever,” and it doesn't mean being forced. It means the moment when things have ripened and action is simply required. Don't push early; don't dodge late. Move when the time comes, and your mind stops hanging in the air. Only then can the centre, your balance, be nourished.

Third: delivering the message plainly is the hard part. Confucius goes on: the envoy's great danger is exaggeration. When two states are pleased, the words get too sweet; when they're angry, too harsh. So the best way is to pass the message on as it is, adding nothing. It sounds easy and it's the hardest thing, because we always want to show ourselves, do a little extra, and get something back.

Put the three together. You can't choose the circumstances. You can't hurry the timing. What you can do is the task in your hands, done honestly, with your mind left free.

If you're holding a glass of “ice water” today, ask first: has this actually reached the point where it cannot be helped?