The Mantis and the Chariot

Reading it step by step

Yan He has been offered a job: tutor to the crown prince of Wei. The trouble is, this prince is cruel by nature. Go along with his bad deeds and the country suffers; urge him to do good and you suffer. What to do? Yan He asks the wise official Qu Boyu.

Let's read the answer in three steps.

First: set yourself straight. Qu Boyu's first words aren't about changing the prince. They are “set yourself straight.” Then the principle: outwardly, go along; inwardly, stay at peace. And immediately a warning: neither can be overdone. Go along too far and you sink with him. Show your inner calm too openly and people think you're angling for a good name, which invites trouble.

Second: three images. The mantis, the tiger keeper, the horse lover. All three stand for Yan He, the teacher, while the wheel, the tiger and the horse stand for the prince. The mantis flaunts its strength and charges. The tiger keeper reads the timing and knows the animal's temper. The horse lover cares so much he catches the dung in a basket and the urine in a clamshell, but when a mosquito lands on the horse and he slaps at it, the startled horse lashes out. Love, badly timed, backfires.

Third: a sigh. Work like this is mostly bitterness and little joy, with slim hope of success. In troubled times, getting through “without a flaw” is already an achievement. In his preface he even jokes that anyone who worries about the state of the world gets laughed at as a mantis blocking a chariot.

So this isn't a lesson in coldness, or in flattery. Before you set out to change someone, know your own weight, then learn when they are “hungry” and what makes them angry. Courage needs eyes.